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Who is afraid of the big bad mommy?

As a parent of toddlers who would have guessed out of all the things to fear...bedtime routines, lack of sleep, stranger danger, children sharing "their" version of what happens @ home...the stuff worthy of a children's services investigation--that none of those would matter. Instead it is something even further out of our control...the other soccer moms. Wait...before you tune out and decide "here goes another one of those ranting gossipmoms" hear me out. I include myself in this dangerous gaggle of "others" and try to understand where I fit in to the mayhem. Dare I say "If you are a mom, you should too...?"

It seems as if some of us have learned to get past the "mother's guilt" and the inferiority complexes that are self-imposed and now there's more! Its apparent that we all do our best to get through the day, yet what are our words, non-verbals and those attitudes saying to the children in other families? Do we have a responsibility to manage our self awareness in this way? Should we take ownership in how other children feel about us? Is role modeling the other child's parenting style something we should invest our time and energy in or do we leave it up to each parent to help their own kids digest our behaviors, rules, culture? And do we really take the time to do that?

My son's recent fascination with another child's life has prompted so many questions about my own display of proper parenting. I am not talking about a teenager or even a pre-teen's concern with the outside world. I am talking about a preschooler being protective of his little friend. Clearly he has seen the other child interact with the parent and wonders "why" his mommy doesn't do it the same way. I confess that at first I could have cared less. Now that it is on my radar I am seeing other parents (usually parents of preschoolers and younger children) spew...yes I said spew...their opinions and beliefs in front of not only their own children but in front of mine. What hurts my ears and invokes fear at first is the judgemental tone and level of conviction in their voices. These mothers believe they are right. No wiggle room. When said...its as if its the gospel and an argument is not warranted. So I don't.

Next comes the fear and responsibility it creates for me as a parent. My child just caught that. If I don't later bring it up and discuss it with my child they may not understand the why and the why not... So here we are. Four years into parenting and now understanding that I alone cannot change the other parents of the world. I have work to do. I have bombs to diffuse. What is worse is the level of self-awareness that I am now reponsible for around other children. How do I sound? How do I respect the boundaries of other parenting styles without sacrificing my own? I am not even on the soccer field yet, people...I am just in the hallway.